


Amicable Criminals

by ExecutiveEspressoDepresso



Category: Hannibal (TV), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Established Relationship, Hannibal had murder thoughts, Jealous Hannibal Lecter, M/M, No beta we perish like Antony dimmond, One Shot, What else is new, Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter in Cuba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29258526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExecutiveEspressoDepresso/pseuds/ExecutiveEspressoDepresso
Summary: An amicable relationship with Jim Moriarty, consulting criminal, is necessary but excruciating to Hannibal Lecter. The man will not stop hitting on the cannibal’s husband.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112





	Amicable Criminals

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry to be writing Sherlock crossover in the good year of 2021. Please forgive me

Hannibal had never been one to expressly despise people. He’d never allowed himself much of the opportunity to, surrounding himself with things that brought him joy, a principle that applied to people as well. Life was short enough as it was, no reason to burden oneself with unpleasant company that didn’t serve his purposes in any way. Therefore, on the occasion a person ever brought negative feelings for a substantial amount of time, Hannibal would quickly have them cut from his life. 

Often literally.

This lifestyle had served Hannibal well so far, especially since it got him to this point in life. He and his beloved Will, living peacefully on the white beaches of France, in residence of a cobbled cottage home that Will very quickly became taken with, to Hannibal’s delight. The doctor had purchased the charming villa some time ago, just one of the many buildings scattered across the world that Hannibal owned. Not under his name directly of course, knowing well that if the need to use one of these quaint and secluded homes ever arose, it would not be because the doctor wanted a change of scenery. 

With the assistance of Hannibal’s discreet finances, he and Will had settled into their new lifestyle with the same ease they had implemented into their new sunset colored stone home. Hannibal could not imagine a time in which he had been more consistently filled with joy. He had spent his whole life filling his world with objects and people that brought him joy, everything from old medical textbooks to the good doctor Bedelia Du Maurier.

Well, perhaps not her anymore. It had been good to see her for the last time, and his dear Will looked so lovely brimming with thinly veiled jealousy. Doctor Du Maurier and her final dress had nothing on Will Graham filled with righteous violence.

Oh, his treasured mylimasis. Hannibal’s god, whom he worshipped with offerings of eternal devotion and the blood of mortals not worthy to set eyes on the most beautiful entity Hannibal had ever laid eyes on. Truly, nothing had brought him as much exuberance as having Will in his life. No amount of books or all the paintings in the world could ever surmount the gorgeous monster that Hannibal was granted the privilege of seeing glowing in the golden morning sun. 

Yes, filling his life with people that brought him joy had brought Will into Hannibal’s, so one could say that it had all been worth it in the end. The disposing of unpleasant people instantaneously had served the serial killer well.

Which was why the immovable presence of James Moriarty was so insurmountably infuriating. 

“Really love what you’ve done with the place, Doctor Lecter,” the English man in question drawled, brown eyes roving over the brick fireplace of Hannibal and Will’s shared home.

“I wish I could say I took your compliments at face value, James,” Hannibal responded evenly. The man steeled a twitch in his jaw as his unwelcome guest picked up one of Will’s fishing lures.

Moriarty chuckled, mostly to himself it would seem. “Oh really Doctor, you wound me so,” the criminal lamented, pressing his thumb over the lure’s hook. Hannibal contained another spasm in his hand as a pinprick of blood bloomed over the man’s thumb.

James Moriarty was almost inconceivably rude, touching and dirtying Will’s things with what Hannibal would refer to as reckless abandon. Truly, Hannibal has never despised a man so. Or at least, had to be in the presence of someone he loathed for so long. And yet, because of the man’s status and the benefits a relationship with him served Hannibal in staying out of the police’s interest, an amicable truce was necessary.

Hopefully Hannibal would find himself able to dispose of the British criminal in the near future, his sharp tongue would be lovely in a dish for Will. 

Ah yes. Will. The true source of Hannibal’s abhoration of James Moriarty. Not for anything his mylimasis had done, naturally, his Will was almost incapable of truly upsetting his lover. No, rather, it was Moriarty’s constant and unending flirtation with Hannibal’s darling.

“Is he your husband now, my dear doctor?,” Moriarty questioned smoothly, setting the bloody lure down. Hannibal steeled himself again and thoroughly considered whether a truce was worth this indignity when Moriarty stuck his pricked thumb in his mouth.

Really, when Hannibal had done the same action, he’d at least been alone in Will’s home. 

Hannibal flexed his fingers across the arm of the sette he was settled in, partly to restrain himself from doing something impulsive but additionally for the gold of his wedding band to glimmer in the firelight. “Yes, he is. It has been a while since your last visit, James,” Hannibal observed passively, focusing on the strip of silver in the center of his golden band instead of the nuisance in the room.

A soft fondness bloomed in Hannibal’s chest at the thought of his husband. His husband who was currently in the nearby town, using French dialect that had developed quickly when the couple had first arrived in the secluded house three years ago and was now flawless, to purchase some herbs Hannibal had requested for dinner. And if fortune favored Hannibal today, his lovely husband would not return until this tiresome man had left their home. 

“Things have been busy in Europe, darling,” Moriarty bemoaned, the pet name making Hannibal tense against the arm of the chair again. It was fortunate Hannibal had ample experience dealing with this man, he would surely be dinner by now otherwise. “Although I suppose you wouldn’t know.” He leered over his shoulder, facing the window. “Domestic life doesn’t suit you, Doctor. One of your suits would, though. I miss the patterns.”

“Simple fashions are suitable when one doesn’t expect guests,” Hannibal remarked, rising to his feet. “And forgive me for saying so, but your presence as a guest was unexpected.” He adjusted the linen cuffs of his simple white button up, smiling with insincere apologeticness at Moriarty.

“Apology accepted,” the consulting criminal droned with a lazy smile. What an insufferable man. “Where is the hubby anyways?”

“I’m afraid dear Will is running errands before dinner,” the ex doctor explained. He lifted his arm in a gesture towards the front door in the nearby room, smiling politely. “Very considerate of you to check up on us, James. And while we’d love to have you for dinner, he will have already purchased enough for only us and there’s simply not enough time to prepare for a third. Perhaps you will see him some-“

“Hannibal, I’m home.”

The serial killer had never been so devastated to hear his husband call his name from the foyer.

While Hannibal was sure to hide his dismay in his facial expression, Moriarty smirked anyways, head tilted to gaze up at Hannibal. “It seems fate has aligned for us, Doctor,” Moriarty purred with raised brows.

Hannibal maintained his complacent smile as his hand fell from the motion to escort the man out. “So it would seem,” Hannibal said evenly. He raised his voice slightly, the lilt carrying into the other room to reach Will’s ears, “in the living room, darling-” Hannibal turned his gaze back to Moriarty, cool maroon meeting icy brown, “-we have a guest.”

“A guest?,” Will’s lovely timbre echoing through the house was followed by the appearance of the man himself, footsteps coming to a halt in the entryway. “Ah. Moriarty.”

“Aw hello love,” Moriarty positively crooned, lips curling up over sharp white teeth. “You’re looking pretty as always.”

Will was of course, Moriarty was correct in the assumption he always was, even though only Hannibal would know he looked such a way constantly. Despite arms laden with paper grocery bags that the local market had provided, Will still looked lovely with his green buttoned shirt accentuating the man’s exposed biceps and chocolate curls falling across his forehead. Just because Moriarty was correct didn’t mean he had a right to say it, however. 

“Thank you,” Will said in a clipped tone, turning to his husband. “Would you mind lending me a hand, Hannibal?”

Oh darling Will and his complete disregard for societal courtesies, Hannibal loved him so. 

“Of course, mylimasis,” Hannibal readily assured, brushing past Moriarty to take a bag filled with greens from his love. He wasn’t shy to let his free hand graze to Will’s lower back and then to brush back the few stray brown locks laying across the man’s forehead as he pressed a kiss to the soft curls with a genuine smile. 

Will relaxed at the touch, Hannibal predicted he had tensed considerably one he laid eyes on their bothersome guest. “They had some cilantro seeds,” the younger man said to his husband, thoroughly ignoring Moriarty quite rudely. How Hannibal loved him. “I bought some to add to the garden. You were complaining about the quality of Mrs Vinette’s wares.” 

Moriarty ran his hand across the back of the quilted white couch he had moved to stand behind “Aw, aren’t you both just the sweetest,” the criminal gushed in a lilting tone, making Will’s eyes flicker over to the grinning man. 

Hannibal didn’t miss the way Will’s endless sky blues flitted over the living room to see just what pieces of their home Moriarty had disrupted. Flicking to and fro from the red rug woven with golden patterns, the oak bookshelves framing the fireplace, the harpsichord, and settled on the stained lure at Will’s workbench making his eyebrow twitch in very much the same way Hannibal’s own had when Moriarty first arrived. His darling was so observant.

“Thank you love,” Hannibal murmured appreciatively, taking his hand from Will’s hair to relieve him of the second bag. “I’ll get the trout you caught for tonight ready for dinner.” The ex doctor glanced at Moriarty. “I’m terribly sorry to be cutting your visit so short, James. But dinner is an almost nonnegotiable arrangement between me and my husband.” Hannibal didn’t bother to put emphasis on the title, knowing it would do little to dissuade Moriarty and his infuriating advances towards Will. 

Moriarty looked over Will, smirk still solidly on his face and brown eyes glittering. “Such a shame, dear doctor. I’ve missed you and your mylimasis’s company.”

Moriarty’s Westwood suit would look lovely with a slit across the stomach, dark blood spilling out in droves and staining the white shirt scarlet.

“Perhaps another time,” Will said before Hannibal could drop the groceries and cut Moriarty open from pelvis to sternum with the scalpel in his sleeve. “I’ll help you put everything away soon, love. Give me a moment to show our guest out.”

Hannibal opened his mouth to undoubtedly fabricate an excuse for him to accompany Will, or maybe even insist that Moriarty leave on his own since it was unusual for Will to spend any more time with the criminal than he decisively had to. But then Will smiled up at Hannibal so tenderly with his eyes open and asking, and Hannibal was helpless to deny his request.

The older man closed his mouth to tilt his head in Moriarty’s direction, his polite smile doing nothing to hide the musings of whether the criminal would taste better sautéed or grilled. “May our paths cross again soon, James,” Hannibal said, inclining his head more. “I would shake your hand, but Will will have to do it for me once he shows you out.”

“Oh it’s no trouble at all really,” Moriarty encouraged slyly, gaze firmly not straying from Hannibal’s husband. “Hope to see you soon, Doctor Lecter. I do so love to visit my favorite happy couple.”

Half of us, perhaps, Hannibal thought tersely.

“We’ll let you know. I’ll see you in the kitchen Hannibal,” Will laid a hand on Hannibal’s shoulder to encourage him to leave. Hannibal did so, but was incredibly reluctant. This darling man knew how much power he had over Hannibal, perhaps the serial killer should count himself lucky he didn’t take advantage of it more often. 

“Bye bye Doctor Lecter,” Moriarty sang as Hannibal left. “I’ll be in touch.” 

Hannibal’s jaw tensed in a way he didn’t bother to hide since he was now out of the intruder’s sight. Insufferable man. 

As Hannibal began to unpack the assortment of herbs and spices Will had purchased, Moriarty’s infuriating sing song drifted through the kitchen.

“I really should thank your husband, it’s not often I get to find people who aren’t inconceivably dull. So difficult to find a mind like yours. How I’d like to see what that mind can do.”

Hannibal dragged his calloused fingers across a stick of cinnamon, staring longingly at the number of silver knives embedded in the mahogany knife block on the nearby counter. It’d be so easy. Moriarty only had power in brains, not brawn. Less effort had been used to subdue Miriam Lass. Hannibal could handle Moriarty’s network. 

Will’s deep voice pulled Hannibal out of his blood soaked visions and back into the kitchen. 

“I’m sure you would. Hannibal thought very much the same upon our first meeting.”

A chuckle. “Well, if I end up as close to you as the dear doctor, I’d count that a good plan.”

The heart would be good. Between the third and fourth rib. Make sure the tongue stays intact. 

Will’s reply made Hannibal’s hand halt its reach for the largest knife.

“I don’t find you interesting. And I don’t think I will. A standard psychopath craving power over others for his amusement? If I wanted that I would have married the ward at my mental hospital.”

“We could do a lot together. You and I.”

“Yes. We could. But I don’t think I will. My husband and I have done plenty on our own. And if I ever decide to do more, I assure you, it will be against you.”

A pause. 

Hannibal slowly gripped the knife, listening intently.

There was a laugh from Moriarty, though that did nothing ease Hannibal any.

“You really are something, Mister Graham.”

“I know.” The door creaked open under Will’s grip. “And it’s Mister Graham Lecter.”

Another laugh.

“Call me, darling.”

“I doubt it, Moriarty”

The door slammed shut.

Hannibal found himself smiling widely, gazing at the knife in his hand for a second longer in contemplation as his husband’s footsteps drew closer.

“A bit eager, aren’t we?,” Will asked in amusement, resting a hand on Hannibal’s shoulder with a raised brow.

The knife was put in its place in an instant and Hannibal’s hands instead held Will’s waist, pressing him close against the counter. No matter how many times Hannibal had Will in his arms, under his hands, the feeling of his warmth against Hannibal’s skin was electrifying. His beautiful radiant sun molded so wonderfully under Hannibal’s palms, like they were made to seamlessly fit and melt together.

Hannibal rested his forehead to Will’s, smiling softly as he gazed into Will’s bottomless eyes. Unfathomable, Hannibal could stare at them for eternity and it still would be uncharted

“Have I mentioned recently, my mylimasis,” Hannibal’s murmured words ghosting against Will’s skin, “how much I adore you?”

Will’s hands found their place on Hannibal’s body with equal ease, palm resting atop Hannibal’s chest and fingers lacing through the fine ashen blond hair at the nape of his neck. “Perhaps,” Will mused contemplatively, pulling Hannibal closer so his lips were brushing over his husband’s mouth with his next words. “But I could stand to hear it again.”

His beautiful cunning boy. 

Will would look beautiful covered in Moriarty’s blood. Hannibal should really look into seriously dismantling his network.

Perhaps then he would extend a serious dinner invitation to the man.


End file.
